Hello to all my ministry partners and more!
October was definitely a difficult month, but also was a month that made me deeply reflect on what it means to choose joy and gratitude in the midst of suffering. I genuinely feel like that's my theme for the year, if I'm being honest. However, God really has provided such sweet opportunities and moments this month within my classes, my ministry, and even my own personal life.
Classes
This month, we started our Holy Spirit class! Within this class, we are going through a book called Paul, the Spirit, and the People of God, which is definitely a semi-dense book. Within it, the author takes the perspective of us getting to know the Spirit of God through the lens of how Paul would have experienced and thought about the Spirit. While this book has been super informative and has helped me open a file on what I really think about with the Holy Spirit, the class time has been even more useful. During this time, us apprentices come with questions and thoughts and audibly wrestle with concepts from the book. In experiencing this, I've realized that I'm not alone in my questions and doubts, and it's okay that I'm still figuring this all out-as all of us apprentices are.
We're also still continuing our Old Testament class, and will finish that at the end of the semester! During October, we worked our way through the major and minor prophets-which left several of us feeling a little boggled. Personally, for me though, I love the prophet writings, and though I may not understand all the imagery, I feel like they paint a beautiful of God's heart for his people. While most initially look at these writings as condemning to Israel and a forewarning of their doom, I also tend to see how God genuinely desires their well-being and good. Not to mention, the sufferings of his people do break his heart, and, eventually, he will redeem them. This depicts to me a God who's heart is for Israel rather than against it, and a God who seeks hope as the end goal versus destruction.
Ministry
At the beginning of this month, we had the opportunity to take our students out to Mt. Lebanon for Fall Camp! This is something I have seriously missed getting to do as a community due to COVID. So, out of not getting to experience it my senior year, I wanted to go into this event hyping it up for other students and helping them get the most they could out of these 24-hrs. Side note-for those who don't know what Fall Camp is, it's a 24-hr retreat for students in which we emphasize community and depth in Jesus. This is ultimately a chance for students to spend time with their cores, and to strength their bond as a community. As a student, I always left Fall Camp feeling more connected to those around me, and more excited to show other's Jesus.
Going as a staff member this year, it genuinely was different, but still super exciting. Only one girl from my core came, which was initially discouraging, but man, did God really show up in my interactions with her. The day before Fall Camp, she spent the night at my house AFTER we had just got done spending 2 hours running errands with each other, doing FOJ, and goofing off. So, you can say that we definitely got some quality time in together. The crazy thing is too, this girl was also one of my CTF students that I got to invest into a few summers ago as an intern. So, getting to see how she's really changed and grown, and consistently wants to pursue the Lord, really is beyond encouraging to me. If anything, it reveals to me that God really has been so persistent and faithful, and truly makes what seems like failures into sweet and beautiful things.
Besides Fall Camp though, other parts of ministry have also been super exciting, but also, super hard. This month, I had a few situations with students that really had me reflect on my own heart and how God ultimately the one doing the work in their lives, not me. Beyond that, our core at Wylie has grown tremendously, with several other girls and guys joining! We even had a chance to do a split core, to which I got to lead the girls through a discussion on rest and what it means to sit still and in silence with God. Initially, I brought this up to them because they, and my self included, can easily get caught up in needing to get the next thing done versus just trusting who God is and what he's doing. We reflected on the story of Mary and Martha, and how Martha, with good intentions, worked out of pleasing Jesus while Mary sat at his feet. Yet, it was Mary who was praised and set as the example. So, what does this mean in our own lives? This was what I had them reflect on.
Personally
I sometimes forget that a big part of this apprenticeship is also what God is doing in my own heart and mind, and how he's shaping me to be a better disciple and minister to those around me. So, in that, I sometimes falter in letting you all know what's also going on in my own life.
So far, in the month of October, God has been personally teaching me about joy, suffering, my own emotions, and bringing to light what it means to pursue ministry in and out of this job.
If you read in my last blog, one of my prayer requests was for my grandmother going into surgery. On October 18th, she was to go in and have her kidney removed due to a massive amount of clots. However, she didn't make it through surgery, and passed away that day. This devastated me due to how close I was to her. She genuinely was one of my biggest fans, and brought tremendous joy to those around her. So, in the midst of grief, I witnessed God showing me the power of community, and how I still get to choose joy in the midst of feeling lowly.
I'm also in the midst of learning more about my own anxiety, and how it affects my everyday life. Though it isn't severe, God has been bringing to light how easily I buy into lies from the Enemy, and let it plague my relationships and interactions. So, working through this has been discouraging in some aspects, but genuinely freeing in others. I'm really glad I've had the opportunity to be in this community, and have people patiently working with me in identifying and sorting through these emotions and thoughts.
So, that's it! My semi-synopsis of everything happening in October. The classes, opportunities, and reflections have been such a gift in the apprenticeship, and it ultimately wouldn't have been possible this year if it weren't for your partnership and support. So, thank you so much for all your prayers, donations, and encouragements during this time of the apprenticeship. God really has been at work this year through, in, and around me, and I truly just am in awe of how he would bless a broken person like me through the generosity of all you. So, thank you again, and please let me know if there's any way I can be praying for all of you!
On another note, our annual fundraiser "Keep FOCUS Growing" is coming up! This fundraiser helps to cover the costs of keeping FOCUS growing for the years to come-so that other students may be impacted on campuses like I and others were before. So, please be praying over whether you would like to make a one time pledge to that if you are able to. Our goal this year is $60,000, and a portion of that will be matched by some donors-which blows my mind. So, if you could be praying over the fundraiser, whether you should give, or even spreading the word, all of that would be appreciated!
Prayer Requests
- The students at Collin Wylie. They genuinely have been pursuing such sweet friendships with each other, and I just pray that it continues. And that, ultimately, this campus ends up becoming known for its friendliness and connection between each other.
- Thanksgiving break-that students are able to have a safe and well time during this holiday. Families aren't always the easiest to spend time with sometimes. So, my main prayer is that these students just end up experiencing comfort and peace regardless of their situation.
- The students I meet with, and that I'm able to meet them where they are and show compassion and mercy.
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